


Would you fuck a clone of yourself?

by Schreibblockade



Category: Terminator (Movies), Terminator - All Media Types, Terminator: Dark Fate
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Pre-Relationship, alternative universe, featuring Sarah the Expert Match Maker, i'll be back--eventually, my middle name is Procrastinator, rating is only for the discussed topic i swear, the Porn Shop AU you didn't know you needed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:42:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25135597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schreibblockade/pseuds/Schreibblockade
Summary: Sarah owns a porn store. Dani and Grace work for her. It's a very slow day.
Relationships: Grace Harper/Dani Ramos
Comments: 5
Kudos: 47





	Would you fuck a clone of yourself?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PlushPanda](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PlushPanda/gifts).



> Me on May 28th 2020 to Plush: “Do you have a specific pairing in mind? I’ll better ask now before it’s the day before your birthday and I’m panicking”  
> Plush: “uuuuuuh rn im most into dani/grace”  
> Me: “might have an idea for that, don’t you worry”
> 
> Fast forward to July 7th, 8:30pm  
> Me: PANICKING, because I haven’t written a single word since then and it's the evening before her birthday
> 
> (I think there was a discussion (and direquail made some tumblr manips for that? My memory is horrible. Someone correct me on that) in the TDF discord about the “would you fuck a clone of yourself” meme and what the characters would choose. This is heavily influenced by that. But I’ve had the porn shop AU in my head since January, or something. Time is meaningless, especially this year. But like, the idea wasn’t much more than “Sarah owns a porn store. Dani and Grace work there. Hilarity ensues.” If someone has written a similar fic, I apologise. I’ve been busy working overtime the past few months since covid hit here, and I haven’t had as much time to read fic than I would like. Much less writing it. But I adore the pairing and everything I've read about it so far.)
> 
> HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY FRIEND! (it’s after midnight now in the middle of Europe. So it is officially your hatching day! Time to post this fic so that I can go to bed.)
> 
> Not betaed, we dei lyke womyn.

It’s a slow day today. Most Mondays are. People usually flock the small store that’s tucked in between an owner-managed bookstore and a deli at the very end of the main street just right before and during the weekend. When hopes for dates run high and the confidence to get laid skyrockets even more.

The rest of the week it’s either regulars coming in, or people picking up their purchases that they’ve ordered online, or people curious about the various workshops.

But Mondays are always slow.

But, Grace thinks to herself, it beats the even slower Mondays when she used to work at the local movie theatre and had to clean the stale, buttered popcorn out of the machines.

Also, her co-worker is much nicer to look at, she thinks, just as said co-worker, Dani, bends down to clean up a lower shelf. And gives Grace a very nice view of her ass in dark, skinny jeans in the process.

“Eyes up front, soldier,” Sarah’s gravelly, low voice comes from right next to her, making Grace jump and clutch the fabric of her white shirt that’s directly above her heart. “Or I’m gonna have to call you Captain Obvious in front of the Maiden of Obliviousness.”

Sarah continues perusing the vendors catalogue, not once looking up or acknowledging Grace in any other way.

Right.

Sarah.

The shop’s only downside, for Grace.

Ex-Military. Veteran. (The jury’s still out amongst the regulars, Dani and Grace if it was a honorable or dishonorable discharge. Only one of their regulars knows, and Carl is keeping a suspiciously tight lip about this topic, not even so much as humoring them either way.)

Unfortunately also the owner of the sex shop and Grace’s employer.

“I wasn’t staring,” Grace whispers back defensively, staring down at the cash register.

Sarah looks up, raising one eyebrow, but otherwise keeping mum.

“Well,” Grace concedes, rubbing her left arm just above her elbow. “I wasn’t. Just looking. Respectfully.”

Sarah looks up and hums from her perch on a fancy office chair that she’s parked behind the counter, narrowing her eyes at Grace. Her legs are crossed at the ankles, and Grace is expecting the chair to tip over any second now.

It never does.

“As a very obivous lesbian, I am able to appreciate the female body, even if the mind attached to it is straight. Because it definitely is. It’s about the aesthetics,” Grace rambles. She wants to slap herself for what sounds like a string of buzzword tumblr phrases. “My gaydar is impeccable,” she ends lamely.

Sarah’s eyes keep narrowing, now full on squinting at her. Grace can feel the back of her neck starting to sweat under the scrutiny. Maybe the popcorn machines weren’t so bad after all? At least they weren’t judgmental. Just very, very greasy.

“Yo, Ramos!” Sarah suddenly exclaims, making Dani startle and immediately straighten up, Swiffer duster in one hand, a bunch of paper towels and half-empty bottle of windex in the other.

Dani looks in their direction, wide-eyed, her eyes jumping from Sarah, to Grace, back to Sarah again. “Yes?”

“Would you fuck a clone of yourself?” Sarah continues, closing the catalogue and putting it on the counter next to her.

Grace is horrified. This is like a car crash. She just can’t look away.

Meanwhile, Sarah has changed her position from sitting down to standing up and leaning on the counter on her elbows.

“Uhm,” Dani starts, obviously at a loss for words. Grace can see her embarrassment rise. Because, yes, Mondays are slow, but it’s not like the shop is empty. But a quick look confirms that it’s only people who can take a joke, all regulars. “What?”

“Well,” Sarah drawls, “no need to be shy. Think of it as a team bonding exercise. Here, I’ll make it easy for you and start. I’d fuck my clone, because who would know better how to fuck _me_ than _me_?”

Grace revises her earlier assessment. This isn’t a car crash. This is at least a train crash.

Dani guffaws and starts giggling, but before she can give her answer, one of their regulars chimes in.

“Not only would I have sex with my clone,” Gabriel starts, moving away from the book section and closer to the counter, so he doesn’t have to shout, “but I’d probably make a bunch of clones and just get it on with all of them at once, because that’s how pro-clone fucking I am.”

Gabriel usually buys a lot of weird niche kink books and dvds, so, no surprises there.

“To be honest, fucking my clone has always been my fantasy.” Carl’s deep baritone coming out of nowhere has even Sarah twitching. For a guy who is _that_ tall and jacked, he almost doesn’t make any noise when he moves around the shop.

“It’s basically the same as masturbating, right? So, no big deal.” That’s coming from Diego, Dani’s brother. Who very often likes to point out that he doesn’t need to be in the shop, that he can get everything he needs from Tinder, thank you very much, and that he’s just here to annoy Dani. (The regulars, Grace and Dani suspect that he has a crush on Sarah. That might also be the reason why he looks absolutely delighted about Sarah’s comment about Sarah fucking her own clone.)

Sarah redistributes her weight to one elbow and looks at Grace, both eyebrows raised.

“I,” Grace starts, her eyes flitting from Sarah, to Carl, Diego and Gabriel, before landing on Dani’s grinning face. She sighs, her cheeks warming up from all the attention that is suddenly on her. “I would not have sex with my clone.” Dani’s grin starts to fall and she begins to look a little crestfallen. Huh. Weird. “Because what if my clone is evil?” Grace continues.

Sarah chortles. “This isn’t a philosophy lecture.”

“I mean, yeah, I know, but like, _what if_? I wouldn’t wanna be naked and afraid with a mass murderer nearby.”

“I think you’re overthinking this,” Gabriel chimes in. “This is a hypothetical situation.”

“Personally, I think the lot of you aren’t thinking about it _enough_ ,” Grace tries to defend herself. Dani is grinning again, and to be honest Grace would gladly continue making a fool of herself if it takes the heat from Dani. “Like, I’m not saying that you guys are nasty, this is a kinkshaming free zone. But frankly, I’m a little concerned about your lack of morals.”

Meanwhile, Gabriel and Diego start to have their own discussion in the background.

(“It’s not the same as masturbating, though? It’d be like having sex with your twin.”

“Well, fine, then I’d totally fuck my clone because I want to know if I’m good in bed.”)

Over the cacophony of those two arguing and then Carl joining in with an allegory about how clones are basically like draperies, Grace almost misses Dani’s answer.

“I’d totally do all sort of weird things to my clone I’d be embarrassed to ask someone else to do.”

She’s staring directly at Grace as she says it, and Grace can feel herself flush from the tip of her ears all the way down to what little cleavage she has. This pale skin is a curse and hides absolutely no secrets.

Sarah is snickering next to her, and also sporting the biggest, shit-eating grin when Grace manages to tear her eyes away from Dani and look at Sarah instead.

Grace glares at her, but is startled when Dani clears her throat and is suddenly standing directly in front of the counter, biting her bottom lip hesitantly. Grace is immediately transfixed.

“Would you like to get coffee?”

“Ri-, right now?” Grace stutters, her eyes wide and seemingly getting even wider when Dani starts playing with her long, dark hair—directly in front of her deep-cut shirt.

“I must admit, I was wrong. More Maiden of Might than Obliviousness,” Sarah snorts, before adding, “Just go. Nothing is happening here for the rest of the day, I can handle Tweedle-Dee, Tweedle-Dum and the Tin Man over there.”

She shoos them away, and Grace hesitantly gets her backpack and her jeans jacket from the back room, while Dani puts away the cleaning supplies and also gets her stuff.

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” Sarah advises Grace when Dani is heading to Diego, letting him know that she’s leaving. For coffee. With Grace. (Is that a coffee date? A date? Just two colleagues (Friends? Friendly colleagues?) going for an afternoon non-alcoholic drink? Grace’s mind blanks.)

“Sarah, that doesn’t narrow things down,” Grace replies, slipping on her jacket and adjusting the collar.

“I know,” Sarah says with a devilish grin, “isn’t it great?”

Grace smiles. Sarah is a pain most of the time, but without her inane ideas, this drink outing wouldn’t have happened. Maybe she does owe Sarah one for this opportunity to get to know Dani better.

But. Alas. The moment doesn’t last.

“Make good choices,” Sarah yells at them when they’ve both reached the door, Dani’s hand already on the handle. “Practise safe sex! I know you know how to do it, because I made you both attend workshops for it.”

Well. Judging from Dani’s blush, at least now Grace can scratch the “colleague” from her internal “oh my god, what kind of coffee date is it” list.

**Author's Note:**

> Endings aren't my strong suit. I apologize if it was somewhat abrupt. Put that's also due to my inability to plan ahead and trying to hammer out everything the night before. :P
> 
> Still! I hope you enjoyed it, Plush! Have a good one!
> 
> Also: I feel like a porn shop AU has potential for small (hilarious) ficlets set within that universe. So, if anyone has any ideas, hit me up with those in the comments. Maybe I'll get around to writing and finishing them. Before we all hit our retirement age. (At the speed i'm writing? Very possible.)


End file.
